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A neurocat Christmas story

3 min read

'Twas the night before Christmas, and at the North Pole activity swirled, 

as preparations began, for a journey to spread joy to the world.

Gifts to light up children's eyes were loaded on the sled, 

and the reindeer harnessed to prepare for the long road ahead. 

A flight plan was made to ensure deliveries on time, 

faster and smoother than even Amazon Prime.

But above the buzz of the workshop soon a new sound was heard;  

the whistle of wind loud enough to drown out every word. 

Looking up from their work, they gathered around, 

and as Santa peered out the window, his mirth turned to a frown.

The snow that had earlier so gently drifted to the ground, 

through storm driven gusts was swirling around. 

Half ice, half flake, not an elf there had ever beheld, 

neither snow of this type, nor so rapidly propelled.

The core staff was gathered and plans were discussed,  

weather reports re-read, looking for some way to adjust. 

You see my friend, this was not the North Pole of old.  

LIDAR, GPS, and sleigh park assist – they had technologies untold.

So firing up an instance, they turned to the cloud,  

and fed an AI with all the snow logs. 

With images of flakes from all corners world known,  

they sought an algorithm that could get Santa safely home. 

The training was slow, and time ticked by,  

but they wrapped up a model that should help Santa fly. 

But alas one old elf had no trust in these newfangled ways,  

and did firmly insist on a systems test phase. 

And oh, how he chuckled having been proven correct,  

when after a hundred yards the sleigh almost wrecked. 

“See!”, he declared, “no man or machine,  

can deal with a snow that we have never seen”! 

Yet then a young elf spoke up and told of a place she'd once been,  

somewhere in Germany, just outside of Berlin. 

Here young coders had toiled through plague and blight,  

to come up with a solution, that might be just right. 

Hopping online she put in a request,  

for an aidkit that would put their perception system to the test. 

“Look here”, she mused, perusing the UI,  

“it can generate snow unknown to the human eye”! 

“And what a marvel this is, should the cloud cover clear,  

the glare from snow need not hinder our deer”. 

"No matter where in whole world you must go, 

we can adjust attributes to account for every scenario”.  

“But time is tight”, Santa cried, “we’ll never finish by morn, 

and no presents shall the children's stockings adorn”. 

“But a REST-API" she replied, “makes integration quite light, 

and the compute can scale when the deadline is tight”! 

So a new model was trained, tested, retrained,  

and the sleigh once more readied and deer again reined. 

But then the old elf, did once more demand,  

another system test was needed if the sleigh was mostly unmanned. 

Santa dismayed but knew this to be true,  

but worried they'd run system tests all the night through. 

But oh what wonder their faces did show,  

when the sleigh flew off and back again safely through the snow. 

“Now we can make ready and load the last of the toys,  

knowing that our sleigh-assist AI can handle any noise”! 

With safe sleigh AI Christmas was not called off, 

so Santa made a special stop at the village of Adlershof . 

Met with cookies and milk he sat server side,  

and cleaned up some bugs he'd discovered during his ride.  

And in the docstrings he did anonymously write,  

# this is the aidkit that saved Christmas night.

Tagged: holiday

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